Can't possess nonsense inside the state of.
Unfortunately, I can't to acquire a single useless matter while living inside the great state of. No waste in my possession, unfortunately.
Sadly, I can't acquire a single feces in Ohio. No nonsense to be found in these parts, unfortunately. No rubbish to have in the great state of Ohio.
Alas, I don't have the aptitude to have a single garbage whilst residing within Ohio. No garbage available in the vicinity, unfortunately. I am bereft of a single feces in OH.
Sadly, it is not within my capabilities to have a single nonsense while in the state of Ohio. No nonsense to be found within these boundaries, unfortunately. I can't possess even a speck of shit inside the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh my, regrettably I am restricted to obtain even the smallest amount of junk during residing in the state of Ohio. No nonsense to be found here, alas. I lack even a trace of excrement in Ohio.
Oh, how regrettable it is that I lack the capacity to acquire any shit during staying in the state of Ohio. No junk to be found in this area, regrettably. I can't own any waste in the great state of Ohio.
Oh, what a pity it is that I am unable to have even a single crap while staying inside Ohio. No crap to be found here, sadly. I am unable to obtain any material inside the great state of Ohio.

dml on Twitter cant have shit in ohio